Do you want your relationship to be different?
Have you ever wondered why your relationships is how it is. Have you ever asked yourself “why can’t my relationship be different?”
In the world of social media it can be easy to live in a world of comparison. It is so easy to believe that everyone has a relationships that is fulfilling, loving and all in and to sit there and wonder where you went wrong.
What’s wrong with me? Why can’t my relationship be different? Why can’t it be like everyone else?
Let me share this story with you.
Once a teacher took his class to a park and asked them to observe the park for a short span of time but each student had to stay where they were. None of them could move.
After 5 minutes teacher asked each student to share what they had noticed.
One student mentioned that he felt cool breeze which made him fresh and energetic. All students were cheered up by listening to this comment as they also started feeling the same. Another student said that green leaves and colourful flowers are an indication of life, hope and prosperity. Another student said that the silence in the surroundings and the yellow colour of some of the leaves made him sad, lonely and pessimist about life.
With this the teacher reminded his students that each one of them was given the same task in the same location and yet, each student had a different observation and experience. However by logic no one was completely wrong.
How does this relate to you wanting your relationship to be different?
You see, each one of us is unique. Our observations and feelings can be just as unique and this goes for our relationships as well. Just because our observations and feelings are different, does not mean that we have the right to criticise anyone about what they observed or felt. It doesn’t mean that what we see on social media is true. More importantly, it doesn’t mean that there is anything wrong with you for asking yourself why your relationship can’t be different.
We may be slightly wrong, fully wrong or 100 percent right at different moments in life. The uniqueness of each individual is as a result of multiple reasons. Such as:
- Thought process
- Comprehension levels
- Mood swings
- Analytical skills
Just to name a few.
The same can be said when we are interacting with our spouse, ex, co-parent or even our own parents. There will be times when we don’t agree with them. When we believe that they are being childish, stubborn or sensitive.
However, the wisdom is to respect the feeling and actions of each individual as much as possible.
It is not up to us to tell them that what they are feeling is wrong.
It is our job to accept that what they are feeling is justified for them, to show empathy and help them to see the true intention.
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