Have you asked a loaded question?

 In Conflict Resolution

Have you ever found yourself asking a loaded question?  You know, the type where you know the answer is never going to be good enough, but you ask it anyway.

This happened recently between 2 people that I was privy to and oh my goodness – the exchange that happened as a result was nothing 2 adults should ever be proud of.

If you ask me this has to stop!

I couldn’t help but think Why?  What’s the point?  What is this actually going to achieve?

When you are asking a loaded question – it is for no other reason than to start an argument.  

Don’t pretend that you are doing it to get to the bottom of the issue.  

Don’t pretend you are doing it for any other purpose.  

If you ask a question and the only answer you will accept is the one where they agree with you – it is loaded.  Full stop.  Nothing more.

At the end of the day, a loaded question is simply just your ego and pride egging you on. Wanting you to be right. To be powerful. To be better than everyone else. But our ego and pride aren’t designed to help us grow in our relationships. They are there to keep us “safe” preventing us from being raw, open, honest and vulnerable. They are the very traits though that we need to develop if we are going to grow in our relationships.

Unless you are asking a question open to any answer that comes back – just don’t ask.  Because I can tell you now, their answer to a loaded question will never be good enough for you and the fight just isn’t worth it.

Yes it may be hard, but making the change will dramatically improve your relationships and how you feel. Are you ready to make the change?

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Arguments - What is the point in arguing?If nothing is ever good enough it is time to change your focus.