Nasty Separation or Amicable Separation

 In divorce, Separation

– which one do you want?

When you hear of people separating what image springs to mind for you?  Do you think cut-throat lawyers, taking the other for every cent or do you imagine a scenario where you can both walk out of the settlement still on talking terms?

If you watch a lot of tv, read tabloid magazines or have watched friends go through the first type of separation then chances are that is what you may think is install for you.  It doesn’t have to be that way – if you want the second type of separation, that is an amicable separation, then it is possible.  It comes down to choices that you both make along the way.

I have seen a lot of couples who, upon separation, tell me that they don’t want a nasty, bitter divorce.  They will swear black and blue that they want to still get along afterwards.  Which is great – this is music to my ears to hear people talk this way.  The deflating moment comes afterwards.  When life starts.  When people start rebuilding their own lives and then they hit a road bump.  Someone may have been late to changeover; someone may have been tired and so they were a little short with their tone or they may have forgotten to pass on a message.  When these daily life occurrences start to happen, they can change road bumps into roadblocks if you are not careful.

It is when you are faced with these road bumps you are faced with a choice.  You can assume that the other person did this deliberately or you can stop and ask the question.  What will help to reduce the conflict and bitterness that can come with a separation is communication.  If you can work hard to keep those lines of communication open then that will go a long way to helping you have an amicable separation.

Of course, there will be times when you feel like you are doing all the work, communicating, compromising and the like.  You will most likely feel that the other party is just taking you for a ride and doing nothing.  Chances are they will be feeling the same about you.  So, when you are having days like this and you just want to throw the towel in and give up trying – ask yourself why you chose this path in the first instance.  What was it that made you want to have an amicable separation?  Then dust yourself off and do it all over again.

If you know you want an amicable separation but are unsure how to open up the lines of communication you can call Lorrie on 1300 433 302 or book in for a free consultation here.

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