So what do you do?
Hi, my name is Lorrie and if you haven’t already guessed I am the Principal Mediator and the one behind the scenes here at Family Law Services Online.
I was at a BBQ recently with people I hadn’t met before. As you do when you are making conversation people ask “so what do you do?” My conversation went a little like this:
Q: So what do you do?
Me: I help people solve disputes.
Q: You do what?
Me: I am a Mediator and I help people when they are going through separation and divorce to solve their disputes.
Q: Oh. That must be horrible.
And then (as it usually does) they began to tell me about someone that they knew who was going through this at the moment.
It struck me then, that the emotion of the conflict is what scares people. The thing is though, when you are so far down there is only one way to go and that is up! That is what I love the most – helping people to see that the worst is really behind them and that they can move on from this if they want to.
Mediation is not just about helping people reach an agreement. It is also about helping people to see and identify what they actually want to achieve. At worst you have parties who are so embroiled in the dispute that, as much as they tell you that they want this to end – they really don’t. But on the other hand you also have parties who genuinely just want to start over and are willing to do anything to make it happen.
The joy in this work lies in finding the solutions that are out of the box yet they still allow both parties to feel as if they have achieved their desired goal.
So when it comes time to choosing who will help you during your mediation – maybe you should ask your mediator “what do you do?”