What do you want?
This might seem to be a silly question to ask but do you know what you want? What you really want?
Most people when asked that question might be able to give you a superficial answer like I want money or I want a new car/bike/bag/watch….anything. But they are all things. But do you know what drives you? What makes you get up each day? What is it that you are meant to do?
If you are able to identify what it is that you want, then you will be able to set yourself up for success. You will be able to confidently explain what you want from any property settlement and why. This is called interests based negotiation and any mediation conducted on an interests basis will always be more successful than positional mediations. Why is that?
There is a common example used to explain the benefits of interests based mediations concerning a single orange. Put simply, two parties want the one and only orange in the house. Ordinarily this would cause a fight of “I want it” or “It’s mine” or a positional base mediation may take the view of 50/50 (you get half each). But by identifying why you each want the orange you will see that both of you can achieve what you want. How? Well by talking about why you want the orange (i.e. identifying the interest each of you have in the orange) you will learn that one of you wants the juice of the orange for a drink and the other wants the rind for a cake. Now that this has been identified you are able to see that the orange can be used by both of you for the purpose each of you intended. You each get the whole orange that you wanted and you each can walk away happy.
Believe it or not, the same can be done in a parenting mediation or a property settlement mediation. If you both can identify what you want and why the chances of you both being able to walk away with an agreement that you can live with is so much greater. Perhaps one of you wants more superannuation or perhaps you the family home so you can continue with your home based business. It doesn’t matter what it is, the important factor is to identify why you want/need it and from there the exploration process can begin.